Here is my resume, how come nobody wants to hire me?

You are great. Your resume is hard to understand. Attempts to impress are boastful instead of factual. First paragraph is a waste of time. Throw it out. Abbreviate or eliminate half of the rest and then you'll have room for some hard-hitting bits. Directors and managers that are looking at a stack of resumes want creativity. Tell some experiences (limit to one line) that show yours. Substance. Real work. Results. Money or time saved. Profit earned. Ideas that you invented. "Oversaw" "Prospected" "Responsible for" "Involved in"??? Dump those and tell the results of your efforts. Paint a picture with words that will bring you in for an interview. Then don't be discouraged. "Nobody" has hired you yet because you haven't talked to everybody. Somebody will hire you. Guaranteed.